IN case you didn’t get the memo, jumpsuits are in fashion this season.
If you look through the pics from the Spring Racing Carnival, you’ll see many women have thrown on gorgeous pantsuits and jumpsuits.
If you missed Jen Hawkins in her red jumpsuit number, take a look. She looked damn fine.
Jennifer Hawkins during the Melbourne Cup carnival. Picture: Jason Edwards
I’ll admit, I am jumpsuit-obsessed. In my cupboard, I have over 10 suits.
I’m not a big fan of wearing dresses and let’s be honest, jumpsuits are far sexier! Jen is proof of that.
But there are some serious issues you face when wearing jumpsuits that you just don’t encounter when wearing a dress!
So I’ve put together a little list of things that may help when rocking a jumpsuit this season.
Rule number one — don’t EVER go to the toilets alone! I have been stuck in the toilet, many a time, waiting for someone to come in and help me undo the zip.
When out on a date, I suggest NOT asking them to undo your back zip at the table in the middle of a restaurant! Major rookie error!
I did it once, thinking no one would see me … oh, how wrong I was.
I ran through the restaurant with my bum flashing everyone. My awful bum tattoo was the ‘butt’ of everyone’s jokes for the rest of the evening.
When wearing a shorts jumpsuit, whatever you do, DON’T try and pull the shorts to the side to pee, especially if you’ve had a few too many red cordials.
Chances are you’ll pee all over the back of the shorts and you won’t notice until it’s too late. Yes, I’m speaking from experience.
Don’t EVER try on a smaller sized jumpsuit because you’re feeling super skinny that day. I had to be cut out of a jumpsuit in Karrinyup Shopping Centre a few weeks back, it was one of the most mortifying, and expensive, things that has ever happened to me!
There is an art to getting the jumpsuit on and off gracefully. Don’t freak out and throw yourself around the room if one arm gets stuck. You WILL break stuff. Been there and done that. You can thank me later for saving your favourite vase.
Shortcuts are a bad idea. Jumpsuits with big clot pants are in this season, but don’t try and roll the leg up as a shortcut for you to pee, I guarantee it won’t end nicely.
When things get frisky with your man, don’t allow him to try and pull the suit over your arms and boobs, especially if it’s a tight squeeze. Point him in the direction of the zip otherwise things could get really ugly.
And finally, try not to drink or eat too much. This will save you from the drama of everything mentioned above as you won’t ever need to go to the bathroom.
Picture: Heidi Anderson wearing her jumpsuit the Cosmo Woman of the Year Awards.