For some of you, you won’t even care and that’s totally understandable but it’s eating me up on the inside and I feel like a walking contradiction.
I’ve recently had Botox injections. Not once, not twice but now three times.
I know. I’ve spent years telling everyone to love themselves and rock what they’ve got, when secretly after I turned 30 I got my first few injections.
Back at the clinic — again.
I felt like I had betrayed you all, I was so embarrassed I wore a hat and headband for almost four weeks.
I think I told people I got it for free too, so they would kind of understand why I wanted to try it. That was a total lie.
The first time I got it, it must have been almost 18 months ago now and one of my friends asked if I just wanted to try it at her salon.
After staring at her perfect baby smooth forehead, I impulsively said yes and before I knew it I was ushered off into the other room to meet the doctor.
And then before I knew it, she was placing dots all over my forehead.
She then injected maybe eight shots of Botox. Within two minutes it was all over.
That afternoon I stared in the mirror for hours, waiting for the wrinkles to disappear. They didn’t.
One week later, it was still the same! So I went back for more.
I should have waited the entire two weeks like they tell you too but I was convinced mine didn’t work.
So after I begged the doctor, she gave a couple more injections. This time free of charge.
The next day, I woke up and my face was frozen. I had gone too far.
Think of every emoji face on your smart phone, well I couldn’t do any of them except this one:
My face was completely stuck and my eyebrows felt like they were sagging over the top of my eyes.
I honestly felt like I had a second pair of eyelids. Thankfully this only lasted a few weeks.
If we’re being really honest right now, then I have to say I really loved it, I felt 15 again and people were commenting on every pic I posted.
I have always had loads of wrinkles above my brows so to have that smooth, shiny, baby’s bottom in every photo I was one happy lady!
The battle in my head is where I am at right now and that’s why I wanted it, to behonest.
As I sit here in the waiting room at Medaesthetics, for my fourth round of injections, I still feel like I’ve let people down, and I’m still trying to convince myself that it’s OK.
-Heidi admits that she loved the result and plenty of people noticed the difference.
But at the end of the day, should I really care what anyone else thinks?
No, I shouldn’t and that’s the message I should be spreading, do what makes you feel happy and confident.
I’ve always said I am a work in progress and I haven’t yet reached a point in my life where I have completely rid myself of those negative thoughts.
I’m not perfect and at times I am a contradiction. But what’s a little Botox here and there? If it makes me happy, then that’s what counts!
Its time to fess up, I've felt so guilty and I've felt like I've been lying to so many people