The Green Eyed Monster Dan 17 July, 2008 - 1:56 PM

My Mother used to tell me that jealousy was a curse. Now for some reason I only ever translated that to mean that the bearer of the jealousy is the one that would be cursed. However I have recently discovered that it's the subject of the jealousy that is cursed, not the other way around.

Mostly, the kind of jealousy I have ever been exposed to was when my ex boyfriend used to flirt with other girls and I would get jealous of the attention he showed to them, or the attention they would show back. And I mean I would get really jealous. It's nothing to be proud of, but in my own mind I justified it by saying to myself "Hey if I wasn't jealous, then what am I doing with this guy?" Kind of makes sense, doesn't it?? 

But recently I have realised that I am the subject of jealousy. And it's not from a boyfriend. It's from (believe it or not) a girlfriend.  Who would have thought?

Over the past few years this friend (very good friend mind you) has always been a pessimistic, but I've never thought twice about it. She has never been the happiest person I have known, but she has this thing about her. Character! I've never known her to celebrate the good fortune of others, but she has always been there for any short comings that pass you by. She will be the first person to be there when you break up with a boyfriend, lose a job or get sick. I always thought this to be because she wanted to help and be there for you.

I have had some struggles in life, not any more than any one else, but there have been struggles and she has always been there for me. I can't doubt her that! She is a very strong and amazingly independent person. She is smart, fun to be around and extremely successful in her career. I have always looked up to her in some kind of way however I have always felt insecure and insignificant next to her in a social situation. She was always stronger of the two of us.

However for the first time in a very long time I am really happy and very independent. I don't need her help with anything going on in my life. Not that I ever thought our friendship was ever just helping each other, but I have moved to place in my life where I don't need assistance in life as much as I did before. I'm more independent. I have a great job, my own house, I have a good social network of friends and an exciting new adventure that I have embarked on, my blog.  But ever since these changes (especially the blog) she has literally dropped me as a friend. I know have made some pretty drastic changes to my life over the past few months, but I'm really proud of who I have become and what I have achieved.  I only wish she was too!

I guess we are both to blame in some ways. I have always been submissive. Maybe I should have been more thoughtful about how changing would affect my friendships? I don't know. All I know is instead of her saying how happy she is for me, I have received nothing more than short messages with underlying tones of anger and bitterness.

I never thought for a moment that jealousy can affect friendships as much as it has affected ours. And to make it worse, it seems she has moved on with her life not even thinking twice about the person she has left behind. And here I sit broken hearted (or that is what it feels like anyway) wondering where it all went horribly wrong?

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(23) »

• EAN says

  For someone that claims to have their life completely together, it all seems a bit bloody doom and gloom to me???

  Posted Thursday 17 July, 2008 4:46 PM
• melgal says

  Wow, sounds like there are some huge issues at hand here. Competitivness isn't uncommon amoungst friends, however to let it affect a freindship to the point of dropping a friend and not being able to be happy for them is not just competitive, its bitter and matyre-ish. She seems like hard work. Maybe you are beter off with out her (harsh words, but true)!

  Posted Friday 18 July, 2008 2:13 PM
• J says

  Sounds to me like you're a bit of a drama queen... actually a lot of a drama queen, and she's had to put up with your s**t for a bloody long time. She maybe was only there when you were sick or had problems with work or boyfriends because that's the only time you let her into your life. When things seemed to be going well for you, you obviously felt you didn't need her around. Sounds like you're the fair-weather friend, while she's tried to be there for you to help you out at any time.
  I hardly think she's jealous of you, more probably just sick and tired of the bulls**t that you create, and she's sick of being called upon when you need a friend, and forgotten about when you don't need one. It sounds to me like you need to get your head read. You don't sound like a very stable person.
  Oh, and by the way, if you're going to be writinga blog on a popular radio website, learn how to spell and to phrase sentences properly. God forbid any young, impressionable people read your drivell and see you as someone to get insight from.

  Posted Thursday 24 July, 2008 6:39 AM
• SmartBitch says

  Seems to me your too busy telling yourself how happy you are to really know a true friend.....your loss I say!
  How bloody ungrateful...........

  Posted Thursday 24 July, 2008 12:32 PM
• R says

  So quick to sell out your very good friends, you'll soon find yourself without any …

  It's good to see that you're happy with where your life, you're happy with your travelling and success, meeting new people, having fun, new challenges ... we’re all happy you found your niche

  But at the expense of friends … that’s pretty low.

  Did you think that everyone else's life comes to a standstill to watch you. We all have our own lives, our own triumphs, hurts and issues to deal with. Friends share, celebrate, lend a hand or shoulder through these. I guess with everything that life has kicked your way you wouldn't notice ...

  You're broken hearted???
  Why don’t you think back and remember the actual sequence of events as to when everything went horribly wrong with this friend who was always there for you when you needed her. That would be about the time you hit the enter key on this little piece of self obsessed drivel you actually call a blog !

  I wouldn't be too proud of burning my friends.

  Posted Thursday 24 July, 2008 1:27 PM
• Happier Than You says

  You can't be serious. If this is the way you treat your friends then i would hate to be your enemy - fancy airing all your dirty laundry publicly like this. You should be ashamed of your behaviour.

  The way I see it she is better off without you. Your a nut case!

  Posted Thursday 24 July, 2008 2:41 PM
• melgal says

  Have any of you read what she has said about her freind or are you all too self obsorbed to read what was actually written? She never said a bad thing about her friend except that she doesn't know what went wrong and feels broken hearted. She thinks her friend is smart, successful, amaizing and has character. She also wrote how she looks up to her friend. but you all seem to have looked past what was actually written and only seeing what you want to see. You're all no better than she is..... And here is something for you to chew on. Do you think this is real or just a story to get you all worked up and writing? Ever think of that?!?!

  Posted Thursday 24 July, 2008 4:05 PM
• Teags says

  Dan girl, you are really up yourself. No one comes near to measuring up to you do they?

  Sounds like you had a friend that stood by you through some of the toughest times of your life and yet here you are publicly dissing her for it. You're unbelievable!

  I agree with Happier Than You... you are a nut case

  Posted Friday 25 July, 2008 7:42 AM
• Teags says

  Oh and I'm not the first one to say you've got tickets on yourself... look back over your previous blog comments if you need a reminder.

  Posted Friday 25 July, 2008 7:50 AM
• Happier Than You says

  In response to the comments by malgal I am confused about why you would suggest that Dan has made this up. This blog is about Dan and her City. Her experiences her life, her "happiness". If Dan is just going to make up stories to get people to read her dribble then whats the point?
  And yes malgal we all read the blog and unfortunately your the only one who believes this was appropriate. You too are a nut case!

  Posted Friday 25 July, 2008 9:57 AM

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