Post natal depression Em 13 August, 2008 - 8:41 AM

Post natal depression

 

I have been very reluctant to talk about what I am about to talk about because it's very personal and there is a bit of a stigma attached to it.

I also want to preface this with; I know there are people out there doing it much tougher than me, however in my world this issue pretty much consumed me.

I have decided to speak about this today because I hope it may help a few people and stop them suffering as I did for over a year.

In January this year I was diagnosed with post natal depression. A year after I had given birth to my second daughter Odette.

I think there was a lot of contributing factors to this. I worked full time up until the day before I gave birth. As paid maternity leave is not compulsory in Australia I came back to work six weeks after having a caesarean section which in hind sight was far too early. However I didn't really have a choice because we depend on my wage and if I didn't work we wouldn't be able pay our mortgage..

I bought my first home the month before I gave birth and was also in the process of planning my wedding. Again hind sight is a beautiful thing, I probably took on a little too much in 2007 but you live and you learn.

I found last year pretty tough mentally, I was up and down emotionally but just put that down to being a working Mum and the hours I keep. Also I am a pretty strong willed person and I would never have thought this is something that would affect me because I try to just get on with things.

After my wedding was over and things had settled down I just fell into a hole. I dismissed this as post wedding blues. I battled through November and the start of December not knowing why I felt so disconnected from my girls, my husband and work. I was crying at the drop of a hat, any little thing would set me off but at the same time I could fly into a red hot rage over the smallest things. Wippa and Tim lived through it all with me and were both convinced I was just the she devil from hell and couldn't wait to see the back of me come Christmas holidays.

Around Christmas time I remember waking up one morning and not being able to get out of bed. I just couldn't do it, for the first time I had to say everything got the better of me. I felt the world would be a better place with me away from it, Scotty said to me "you need to go to the doctors I can't help you feel better".

I took myself off to my GP Lynette; to be honest I thought I was losing my mind. Lynette put her hand on my arm and said you're not crazy you've got post natal depression. It was such a revelation to me I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. It had not occurred to me once that this may be what had been wrong with me.

I cried and cried, very relieved that I knew why I had been feeling so bad and that I could now do something to improve things.

We discussed a treatment plan and for the last 6 months I have been trying various anti-depressants and not having much success. I'm off all medication now and I'm going the therapy angle. I have a wonderful therapist who I see every Thursday and will continue to do so for the rest of my life if I have my way. If nothing else I have discovered the joys of a clinical psychologist!

I feel as though I am almost completely over it, I am in a much better place mentally than I have been in a long time.

I want to encourage any Mothers out there who have been feeling as I described or any men out there who have been wondering why their wives have turned into maniacs to go and see your GP The moment I was diagnosed it was as if the clouds parted and I could see a way through the fog I had been in for a year.

Depression is not something that you should be embarrassed about it affects many people from all walks of life.

I also wanted to take the time to thank my GP Lynette, my therapists Nick and Helen, my husband Scotty, Wippa, Tim, my boss DB and my general manager Linda Wayman who have been so supportive during this time.

Em x

 

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• Jaime says

  Em, you are an inspiration to all, I have not myself had this happen to me personally but I know many women who have suffered from this sort of depression and have seen the ways it affects their own lives and the people around them. And you are one of the most courageous people for speaking of this and making people more aware of this, reassuring them that it is ok... a little reassurance goes a long way!

  Posted Wednesday 13 August, 2008 9:10 AM
• Belinda Morrissy says

  You poor thing! My husband just called me to tell me to listen to you as I also suffered from PND after my 2nd child. That was several years ago and I made a full recovery capped off with our third child who is now 10 months old. Well done for speaking out, there should be no stigma attached, no one would sneeze if you told them you had diabetes they would accept it so they should with mental illness as well as it doesn't change the person you are! I joined forces with some other women here in Mandurah to produce a booklet filled with stories from women with PND it is called WRITE FROM THE HEART, the committee has just completed the second edition (I am no longer involved) so please go to the website and have a look - www.sheforpnd.com.au or I can send you a copy. Take care of yourself and your family as like me you are lucky to have them around you x

  http://www.sheforpnd.com.au

  Posted Wednesday 13 August, 2008 9:15 AM
• Heather Webb says

  Em, awsome! What you did this morning was such an achievement for yourself in the healing process of such a debilitating illness. PND is such a horiffic illness. You do fel as if you are crazy and you want to blame yourself for your feelings that are totally uncontrolable. The Chemical imbalance of ceritonin in the brain is something that alot of women have no idea about when it comes to childbirth. I was diagnosed after my 4th child, 12mths after his birth. I'd had twins b4 him and coped ok. hit me from out of the blue!!!!! My Mum found me in the kitchen corner with a staysharp knife in the feotus position crying to my self rocking and repeating "I can't do this anymore!" I know you will have lots of emails and calls relating to this issue however my son is no 13 and I have survived! Would love to catch up with you for a coffee................. I fell you would get alot of help from my story as it is 1 real scary situation that I have shared with others and helped them survive!!!!!!! regards & motherly love Heather Webb

  Posted Wednesday 13 August, 2008 9:18 AM
• Vanessa Wilson says

  Thank god, this is a subject so hard to talk about. After the birth of my son 14yrs ago I have been suffering with depression since then. I then had two other children,a year apart. I did go to the doctors and given antidepressants and told I would be on them for 1or 2 yrs. 14yrs later I'm still in that black hole. Many things have happened since then that don't help,like the break up of a bad relationship, then my ex being badly burnt and having to look after him. In the last 5 yrs I've probaly aged more than fifteen years and in a really bad way. Depression can do some really horrible things to someones life and I don't think people understand it till they experience it. You can even blame yourself thinking that you are just a weak person, so just try to get on with things. The main thing that I wish for people suffering with depression is to take time for yourself and get the help that you need straight away it's not a weakness it is an illness. Don't waste the next 15 yrs hanging on the edge as I don't living like this was any good for my kids.

  Posted Wednesday 13 August, 2008 9:21 AM
• Danielle says

  Thanks em, i havent had a child yet but plan to soon and im actually scared as i have suffered depression before when i get stressed so im actually bvery nervous about bringing a child into the world as it is stressfull and for me to fall victim to depression again. but now i know the signs and hopefully i can get through it without it happening thank you

  Posted Wednesday 13 August, 2008 9:25 AM
• Fatima says

  Em, you definitely hit a nerve for me with your talk on post-natal depression. I fell pregnant with my beautiful son at the age of 16. I kept my pregnancy a secret throughout the 9 months and everyone only found out about it when I was in labour. I used to watch him kick in my tummy when I lied in bed at night and covered up my tummy when someone walk into the room. My parents supported me financially but not emotionally. I was forced to go back to school to complete year 12. I was a school girl during the day and a mom at night. I studied part-time and worked full time when he was little and I have aquired my accounting degree more than ten years ago and am able to give my son and 12 year old daughter a very comfortable life as a single parent. My parents refused to help me rear my son and I am now so grateful for that because he has turned out to the most beautiful person who will be turning 21 this year. In 1987, post-natal depression wasnt taken that seriously and I now realise that I might still be suffering from it as I still get depressed for no reason whatsoever. This might just be the route of all my problems and mistakes from the past and I am filled with gratitude that you have brought this subject to my attention. I believe things can only get better for here on. Thank you, you are amazing.
  Fatima.xxxx

  Posted Wednesday 13 August, 2008 9:38 AM
• Rox says

  Not only PND but depression itself. I have been suffering and started on some antidepressants and therapy. The therapy is the best and has lifted the fog and the weight right off.
  When you said that you were the person least expected, it really hit home with me. I too am one of those people and it was hard for me to understand 'why me?'. I have only told a few people about it as being the least expected they take the news really hard. Thank you. And there is light at the end of the tunnel.

  Posted Wednesday 13 August, 2008 9:51 AM
• Corrie says

  Hi Em,
  I suffered PND with my son approx 2 yrs ago.. it was he most dibilitating time of my life and as you i didnt think it would affect me. I couldnt bond with my son, i couldnt walk out the front door without an overwhelming sense of anxiety that if he cried or wimpered i was going to know what to do. My marriage started to suffer and my health was not in good shape either and i had lost all confidence that my usual bubbly self ever had. My saviour was a mother baby unit in Melbourne where i was admitted with my son for 6 weeks. I learnt how to deal with my depression and and i learnt to bond with my beautiful and very cheeky son. This was the best thing i ever did and i wish there was more of these units around Australia. Once i got better my husband went on a downward spiral and he too was diagnosed with a form of Post natal depression.. i guess the good thing is we are all still a happy family and as tough as it gets there is good that has come out of it all... I am very proud to talk about my experience and i think the more people that are aware of PND the easy it is to admit to help... it can knock on anyones door. I was very touched to hear your story and good on you for expressing it on radio... your a gem.

  Posted Wednesday 13 August, 2008 10:22 AM
• Peter says

  There is reality TV and now there is reality radio. I just caught the last ten minutes of your interview Em and then the callers. Em thank you for sharing something so real and honest about your struggle with post natal depression. I was almost in tears and when one of your callers said she tried to jump in front of a truck I did cry.
  Perhaps you should let Today Tonight do a story on you. You are a celebrity and people listen to you. If your story of survival can save a life and help others to reach out to friends it will be worth it.
  Thank you so much for being so honest on radio. Most personalities have unreal radio personnas.

  Posted Wednesday 13 August, 2008 10:26 AM
• Donna says

  I also suffered PND but was not aware it could come in so many different forms. I was never sad but I was worried to the point where I was physically ill. The things I worried over were ridiculous and I knew this but could not stop it. When my doctor prescribed anti-depressants, my mum went off at me. What do you need those for? You have a good baby and heaps of support. What is your problem? I am also the sort of woman who has always been relied upon to get things done and managed every situation. I have now had another baby and life is normal again. After a failed marriage and the death of her father, my mum is now on anti-depressants which she would never have considered had I not been brave enough to go down that path myself. I now also recognise that there may be a family history of depression, I am just the first one brave enough to do something about it and talk about it.

  Posted Wednesday 13 August, 2008 12:50 PM

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